voicetestin

[phlogistos]

[Hey lookit this asshole hanging out in a less then reputable bar!!! He's settled in a booth in the corner, legs stretched out under the table and propped up on the chair across from him. Between long pauses for people watching, he occasionally returns to something he's writing, though he only gets a few words down before he's back to staring at the crowd. Bored out of his mind by the looks of things]

[He's also smoking despite the sign requesting that please not be a thing. The reason management hasn't come up to tell him to stop? Probably has to do with the gigantic black gun propped up beside him]


[Alternately, start something of your own!]

Comments

[phlogistos]

[...oh you're not human but... you... live in a giant house in the city?????? Mental note to snoop around her house and... figure that all out ffff]

Sounds rough. [LSDJF THE MOST NEUTRAL TONE OF VOICE AHAHALSKDJF Foster that's not how sympathy works honey] How'd you end up stuck with him...

[blackwoods]

["I ate his arm and my aunt's making me help him"]

He forced himself on to me, and we're now engaged.

[In this day and age. Yes.]

[phlogistos]

Ah...? [?????]

How far along are you... [...since obviously you must be pregnant then??? LKJSDLKFKLJ HE IS UNSURE WHAT TO EVEN DO WITH THIS INFORMATION]

[blackwoods]

[Looks very offended he even fell for that ugh!!]

That was a joke.

The Boy and myself suffer the same... affliction. He cursed me.

[phlogistos]

[Blinks... alskdfj He wasn't super convinced brosis but... y'know... he didn't have a reason to question it 8'| So here's this kinda... awkward chuckle]

Your sense of humor could use some work, you know.

[blackwoods]

Tell me a joke.

[phlogistos]

Uh... [Ponders for a bit, tapping the ashes off his cigarette in the meantime]

Oh uh... a horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "So. Why the long face?"

[blackwoods]

[... Blinks.]

Is that all?

[phlogistos]

Mmhm. [Laughs LKSJDFLAKJSDF]

It's a pun.

[blackwoods]

Ah...

[A beat.]

Oh. Oh, I understand.

Your sense of humor is as lacking as your hearing and vision.

[phlogistos]

Not at all then?

[...whoops he probably shouldn't sass her if he wants to hang out in her nice ass house for any length of time...................]

[blackwoods]

Very!

[phlogistos]

[Rude tbh!  Laughs a little ffff]

Whatever you say, your ladyship.  [...lskdjdjs Foster pls]

[blackwoods]

[Yeah see that's better!! She likes this one, he knows good blood when he sees it.]

Much better! Well, follow me.

[And again, doing that thing where she walks off without any warning.]

[phlogistos]

[Okay okay speeding up a little so he can keep pace with her, though he trails a couple steps since she seems to like the royal blood treatment]

How many people live here, huh? [Little gesture down the road to her house!]

[blackwoods]

Mother, Father, and myself; my sisters and brothers, the boy, and thirty servants.

[phlogistos]

[...jesus]

Thirty...? What're they, like businesspeople? [How do you have so much money......... can he kidnap you and get a good ransom]

[blackwoods]

[Yeah probably but she actually has to pause for a bit because

they're not really important, they're just backup................

but..........]

Yes.

[phlogistos]

Wow... [Lucky bastards tbh...]

[And okay he's done with this cigarette now pauses for a moment to flick it to the ground and stub it out. And then he... immediately... draws another one of out the pack inside his jacket, though he only puts this one in his mouth, leaving it unlit lskjdfj dude's kinda got an oral fixation whoops]

[blackwoods]

You'll regret lighting it.

[phlogistos]

[...heh]

Yeah, I gotcha. I'm not gonna light it.

[blackwoods]

If you really want to smoke, do it here. Outside.

[... They probably do have a smoking room for guests but he doesn't need to know that.]

[phlogistos]

I'm not gonna smoke.

[Waves at her like 'chill out lady' and takes the cigarette out of his mouth, twirling it over his fingers instead]

[blackwoods]

Good.

Unless you want to live outside like the animals, too, right? No one would notice the difference!

[phlogistos]

[...rude. Eyes her for a moment then slips the cigarette back into his mouth]

No thanks. [Looks at dis house a bit] So what's the deal here, your ladyship? Just the shower, or do I get to stay the night...~ [Optional... eyebrow waggle??? It's not obvious but there's enough of a lean on it that she can take the innuendo if she wants it slkdjf]